Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Sarah, I will remember your face
long after this presidential race.

You strutted the scene,

our maverick queen.
Too good for second place.

and from

Sweet Sarah, it's over: go home
To the state where the moose used to roam.
McCain was a bore,
So we'll see you in four.
Till then, have fun up in Nome!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Halt the Limericks--Get Out The Vote!

Do you want Sarah Palin eating fancy dinners in the White House?

If you have the time, please help get out the vote today. If you're in the St. Louis/University City area, the Obama campaign offices are at the corner of Olive and McKnight.

Happy voting--and thanks to everyone who's been checking out this site.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Voices from Main Street: Maverick's Last Stand

As always, limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

When it seemed Clinton's votes could be bought,
you said, "Feminist? Well--sure, why not?"
But they never jumped ship--
stick this in your lip:
guess the girls aren't as dumb as you thought.

She enters her rally to Thriller,
as if she were now the top-biller.
And as music by "Jacko"
excites every wacko—
I suddenly start to feel … iller?

The election is one day away,
the voters will then get their say.
McCain and Ms. Palin
are reportedly failin'
and most of us cry hip hooray.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Though his staffers may cry and jeer,
my stylist makes my policy clear:
Have I "gone rogue,"
by just staying in vogue?
I'll still look good in four years.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Voices from Main Street:

from Shannon:

No follow-up questions allowed,
no response to "kill him" from the crowd.
When called out of touch
she didn't say much,
but she said it real American loud.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Katie Couric and Tina Fey
will guard the gates on Judgment Day,
bidding you wash the feet
of the media elite--
the penance a maverick must pay.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

While you claimed his taxes weren't fair,
some volumizer clung in the air.
Your stylist set loose
a new kind of moose,
spreading its wealth through your hair.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Anna:

Sarah P, golden girl of the right,
well she put up one hell of a fight,
But by the time she fell behind
she realized she'd been color blind
to the blue under those Northern Lights.

from Keya:

This passenger on the Straight Talk Express
ain't afraid to politically digress.
Appearances on comedy shows,
attacks on those A-holes
who pal with Ayers and the liberal press.

Thanks to everyone visiting the site and helping to write our final limerickal argument.

Monday, October 27, 2008

You rushed the story to the media elite,
under the specter of certain defeat,
pretending not to see
in the backwards B
the flag of surrender, the white sheet.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Dennis:

A wonderful girl is Sarah,

a regular Scarlett O'Hara.
Her attitude's strong,
her issues all wrong
you betcha she's bad for this era.

from Joel:

It appears that your campaign is cursed.
First female veep? You san't be first.
But for guys with low education
out in Lowry's Red State nation
you'll always provide sweet starbursts.

from Speck Backfire:

So Palin has bought a new wardrobe of clothing
with campaign money for the electorate's beholding,
but fashionable Neiman Marcus
won’t save the party’s carcass
if Republican policies are still the object of loathing.

Thanks to everyone who's supporting the American Center and submitting limericks. With only eight days left, we're issuing an open call for Election Day, and Post-Election Day, limericks.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Sarah, can you clarify what you meant
elitist, terrorist, vice president?
Can you clear your lungs
to speak in the tongues
of your enemies: the godless and intelligent?

Voices from Main Street: Meet Me In Saint Louis

from Anna:

The line between politics and celebrity's so slight
Palin will drop the Blues' puck Friday night.
Now the difference between
a pit bull and a beauty queen
is the sound of high heels on thin ice.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Josephine Six Pack is adored
though her folksy image is Dior'd.
This wolf in sheep's clothes
reaps the fabric she sows--
a fashion that no one can afford.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:


You don’t dare ask for whom the bell’s tollin’
just because you don’t like how you’re pollin’.
You just fire up your base

by alluding to race
(Let’s just hope there’s no call to “cleanse” Colin).


Think Jacqueline O from State Fifty.
I say things like “Goshdarn” and “Nifty.”

I got covered in bugs

from my polar bear rugs.

That’s how come I'm always so shifty.


Say only Southern men can win the South?
then mavericks you know nothin' about.

You just switch-up your syntax

to woo those Joe-Six-Packs,

while the elite put their feet in their mouths.

Thanks again to Main Street for spreading the limerickal wealth.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Traveling with John is a bore.
He and Cindy eat dinner at four.
They're always complainin'
about my Van Halen,
and six-packs left on the floor.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sarah made her warrior’s pledge
atop the elder’s mountain ledge.
He anointed this knight
with the oils of the right,
with a sword, and its double edge.

Voices from Main Street: What Rhymes with Palin?

Forget the polls. These limericks have been coming in recently--and the media elite only needs to turn to these rhymes to understand the "politcal climate," or whatever fancy term they use for the temperature on Main Street:

Tarp Lazer Palin:

O the Liberal Left is a-wailin'
and the common consumer's downscalin'
on his packs of cold Pabst
(for his budget's collapsed)
and for hope he's not looking to Palin.


There once was a wannabee VP
whose faults were plain for the press to see
"If you can't stop complainin'
about the media, Ms. Palin -
on a bridge to nowhere you will be!"


There once was a candidate Palin
whose integrity always was failin'.
Inciting the mob,
and bad at her job,
the McCain campaign is now flailing!


There was a young woman named Palin
who on Democrats went to railin’.
When she opened her mouth
her logic went south.
Now she must get a grade of failin’.

Chris B:

When they trotted out old Sarah Palin
all those hordes started gnashin' and wailin'
"Had enough of Hussein!"
and "Don't know about Spain!"
Come November let's hope they'll be failin'!


There once was a woman named Palin
Who had ludicrous ideas for the bailin'-
out of a nation whose wealth
was disappearing as stealth,
as the Republican party is flailing.

Monday, October 20, 2008

When Alec mistook your name,
my laughter was laced with shame.

From snarky comedians

to desperate republicans,

you're the pawn in a cynical game.

Voices from Main Street:

The Rumplemiss:

The shouts of the flock she condones,

while presiding atop her throne,

sowing the conflict of class

from a house of glass,

while the congregation throws the stones.


There once was a beauty queen mayor

who unblinkingly took McCain's dare.

She entered the race

crying "God bless the base!"

but America needs more than a prayer.

Thanks to our contributors and readers. The efforts of hardworking Main Street limerick writers cannot be stopped by any idle threats from rogue nations.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Voices from Main Street:

Tarp Lazer Palin:

Who's this poseur, Barack? This Obama?
Could my slander create some new drama?
With a blink and a wink
I'll convince them to think
He's as foreign as emus or llama.


Pastors sometimes say things that don't please us.
"Elites" find them and use them to tease us.
But on this they're off base
'Cos I can sure make the case
That it's good that some Jews are for Jesus!

Thanks to all our contributors and readers. We hope Main Street is sunny, beautiful and full of freedom this weekend.

Friday, October 17, 2008

When she brags about hunting a moose,

the message begins to get loose.
With credit in the tank,

her party to thank,
“Real Women” have read the news.

Voices from Main Street:

from Ryan:

Well Palin claims she’s a straight shooter
(but on ethics she “out-Karls” Scooter)
to even D. Frum
that line don’t look plumb
can she outsource to Joe “Roto-Rooter”?

John in Phoenix:

By suggesting Barack get the "noose,"
Palin's cannon is way too loose.
Though her rednecks are wailin'
Mac's campaign is failin'
seems barracuda relate better to moose.

Dave in Georgia:

Sarah Palin, her spirit so liltin',
towards war with Russia a-tiltin'.
Even next to McCain
that looks pretty insane
I'd rather he'd picked Paris Hilton.

Thanks to everyone on Main Street who's visited The American Center and submitted their limericks.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

There once was a plumber named Joe
who was named for political show.
He felt like a gimmick
in somebody’s limerick,
the Sarah Palin of Toledo.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Jessica:

She doesn’t know the Doctrine of Bush
and cries foul when journalists push.
She scoffs organizers
preferring Baptizers
and doesn’t believe in primordial mush.

from Tarp Lazer Palin:

To refer to one's self as a maverick
is to say that you're of a new fabric—
but your hem is dipped
in the oil that you've sipped,
so you're dressed like an apparachik.

from Dennis:

If Palin's the gal you desire,
please know that you're playing with fire.
If you don't watch yourself
she will take all your wealth
and will never let you retire.

As always, thanks to our contributors and to everyone on Main Street who is sending in their inspirational limericks.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

Tarp Lazer Palin:

I can see lots of things from my state:
like the fact that your talk isn't straight.
Or that women come last
as you've shown in the past
so my sister, please step off the plate.


Think of just how much smarts it will take
to cut all those Joe Six-packs a break.
She's a good TV flirt,
but we'll get just de(s)serts
if we "order" Alaskan, half-baked.

Thanks to our contributors and to all who are sending in their limericks. Our great nation is a great nation of Main Streets.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

They howl that Obama's not decent,
and froth against Arab sentiment.
That coy little winker
has them hook, line and sinker.
Their design: far from intelligent.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:


Oh Governor Palin, tell me where and when
did you get that American flag lapel pin?
Does third-wave feminism mean
that you must glitter to be seen?
Or do your rhinestones help you rise above the din?

Tarp Lazer Palin:

So the truth it stretches and bends
round the vows that my Sarah pretends…
But for less or for more
there's good land off the shore
we'd be happy to sell ya, My Friends.


Witch hunters can give you their blessin's,
and Steve Schmidt can try teachin' ya lessons,
but if to no avail
your campaign still fails,
the option's still there for secession!


The bigots and zealots are bustlin'
the mobs say Obama's a "muslin"
the shell has been cracked
our nation be sacked
by a Palin barbarian invasion.

Speck Backfire:

Now it’s true that Republicans aren’t always verbally dexterous,
they sometimes contract old priests to guard leaders from hexes,
but if you think her credentials
not quite vice-presidential,
don’t ask and don’t tell — for that would be sexist.

Thanks to our contributors (and two Annas) and to everyone who's been sending in limericks. There's a crowd of decent Americans gathering in Main Street--and we'll be hearing much more from them this week.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Aerial hunting is not so radical.
Cavemen flew around on terradactyls

hunting their prey

as we do today

with spears for automatic rifles.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Charlie:

Palin was picked by McCain
to revive a lackluster campaign.
No need to be fretting,
the hell with the vetting!
She'll play to my base: the insane.

from Michele:

Between trackin' and huntin' and shootin'
and saving our bacon from Putin
where did you find time
to dabble in crime
and sabotage officer Wooten?

from Ian:

I can't believe what I read in the news!
Of course, there's just no way it is true –
you've no reason to be afraid:
Palin knows more than Roe v Wade:
I hear she wrote the landmark Shotgun v Moose.

from Cabob:

Her smile shines just like the sun's rays.
For McCain she's got nothing but praise.
But if she gets elected,
we'll all be affected,
as she legislates the End of Days.

from Robyn:

So speaketh the pageant finalist:
"Investigate this dometic terrorist!"
Sarah's nostrils may flare
but who really cares
we need her to be a better economist.

from Don:

Sarah Palin was booed on the rink
as her poll numbers went down the sink.
But there on the ice
she tried to make nice
as she cowered with child and a wink.

America is raising it limerickal voice in overwhelming numbers! Thanks to everyone who has submitted their thoughts--we'll be hearing much more from Main Street in the coming days.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

As she tans in the governor's quarters,
she twitches when Putin gives orders.
Be careful, brave patriot.
Right and wrong are split
by a narrow maritime border.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Sarabeth:

That comely lass from Wasilla
is no intellectual gorilla.
In moments of stress
(speaking to the press)
her stream of unconsciousness is a killa.

from Stuart:

Pity poor Sarah Palin
her attacks on Obama are failin.
She brought up Bill Ayers
but nobody really cares
and her husband Todd they'll be jailin

from C. Lament More:

Palin is worried about Putin.
When she isn't evolution refutin'.
With McCain as her guide
she will stall, and then glide
and crash land. I guess that's straight shootin'

Thanks for your perspective from outside the Beltway. Main Street cannot be silenced.

Friday, October 10, 2008

You can't start a fire without a spark.
Treason makes the crowds begin to bark.
She throws them some kindling,
good ol' tax and spending,
dazzling earrings that dangle from her earmarks.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

From Anna:

For the children of Wasilla Main Street
God bless 'em, you must have a shame streak:
for someone must be wary
of books in the library
in case they make departures from plain-speak.

from Carter:

There one was a V.P. on an odyssey
Who knew so little foreign policy
She confused Iraq for Iran
And thought she’d try for a tan
Hunting pirates in helicopters with Somalis.

from Ryan:

Turn me loose without more of a fuss,
Let me drive that darned Straight Talkin’ bus!
So I put off most women,
And our prospects are dimmin’,
At least ‘all ur base belong 2 us.’”

Thanks to all the hard-working Americans who have sent in limericks. Main Street will continue to be heard.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Sarah, ever since your debate with Biden,
everyone wonders where you've been hidin'.
A cave in Waziristan?
Palling around with Taliban
to prove Obama Hussein knew Bin Laden?

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:


As debates go, it was quite a flat one,
each answer most likely a pat one.
Though a night with no drama
is a win for Obama
the same can’t be said for Mc “That One.”

Gotcha questions they just won’t abate,
and the media’s startin’ to hate
how they dare not approach,
for fear of reproach,
by the trooper she’s placed at the gate.


Against the sartorial splendor of Sarah Palin,
tangerine pantsuits pale in comparison;
with the wink of an eye
and a beehive piled high,
that beauty queen's been groomed for debatin'.

Lee Lee:

I could give the liberal media a smack
for all of their debate guff and flack.
If it were up to me
the only person who would see
my great debate style would be Joe Six Pack.

Thanks to all who have submitted limericks. Main Street will continue to be heard.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Presidential Debates are boring.
On the bus, the First Dude is snoring.

In the rear of the rig,

Sarah whispers to Trig,

I'll be back in the news in the morning

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Joe Six-Pack for Obama:

With lefts and rights Palin jabs
Obama/Biden she hopes to nab
Her handlers tells her all facts are true
But her Johnny researches precious few
Next up, the fear mongering gab.

from Speck Backfire:

Believe it, though it seems barely possible:
The next VP could be the last mayor of Wasilla.
You might think it's a joke,
But if old McCain croaks,
She could end up the most powerful boss of all.

From Lizzwill:

That woman gov played by Fey
Gets scarier every day
So lets work for Barack
to give Grampy a shock
and make winky pitbull go 'way.

Thanks to all the ordinary Americans who have been sending limericks. We'll be hearing the voices of other Washington outsiders soon.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

When deciding to run with an Alaskan,
there's a few things you should be askin':
Will she put country first?
Can she properly rehearse
to lead us to victory in Michigan?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Fate tends to spin on ugly wheels:
the governor's mouth gets diarrheal.
When she calls for aid
the doctor's dismayed:
Sarah choked on her Achilles heel.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

Cheney and Palin had tea,

he prepped her on world history.

They also discussed
who would, should or must
be the all-time worst VP.

Sarah Palin's CV will provide
proof that she is qualified.
You don't see McCain
shooting wolves from a plane:
we'd be in good shape if he died.

Thanks to the Washington outsiders who submitted their thoughts.

Friday, October 3, 2008

If Biden's emotions cause you to panic,
just re-apply your tactical lipstick.
Remember the mantra
your handlers taught'cha:
maverick, maverick, maverick.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Sarah, you make me feel nonsensical
when I swim through your media spectacle.
When you reach out your hand
to pull me to land,
your lipstick makes me feel evangelical.

Enough of the journalism of gotcha:
inflation umbrellas, Troopergate, Russia.
Interviews won't be needed,
terrorists will be defeated
by two simple words:
you betcha.