Sarah, I will remember your face
long after this presidential race.
You strutted the scene,
our maverick queen.
Too good for second place.

and from Polly:

Sweet Sarah, it's over: go home
To the state where the moose used to roam.
McCain was a bore,
So we'll see you in four.
Till then, have fun up in Nome!

Halt the Limericks--Get Out The Vote!

Do you want Sarah Palin eating fancy dinners in the White House?

If you have the time, please help get out the vote today. If you're in the St. Louis/University City area, the Obama campaign offices are at the corner of Olive and McKnight.

Happy voting--and thanks to everyone who's been checking out this site.

Voices from Main Street: Maverick's Last Stand

As always, limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

From Polly:
When it seemed Clinton's votes could be bought,
you said, "Feminist? Well--sure, why not?"
But they never jumped ship--
stick this in your lip:
guess the girls aren't as dumb as you thought.

From Nick:
She enters her rally to Thriller,
as if she were now the top-biller.
And as music by "Jacko"
excites every wacko—
I suddenly start to feel … iller?

From Dennis:
The election is one day away,
the voters will then get their say.
McCain and Ms. Palin
are reportedly failin'
and most of us cry hip hooray.

Though his staffers may cry and jeer,
my stylist makes my policy clear:
Have I "gone rogue,"
by just staying in vogue?
I'll still look good in four years.

Voices from Main Street:

from Shannon:

No follow-up questions allowed,
no response to "kill him" from the crowd.
When called out of touch
she didn't say much,
but she said it real American loud.

Katie Couric and Tina Fey
will guard the gates on Judgment Day,
bidding you wash the feet
of the media elite--
the penance a maverick must pay.

While you claimed his taxes weren't fair,
some volumizer clung in the air.

Your stylist set loose

a new kind of moose,
spreading its wealth through your hair.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Anna:

Sarah P, golden girl of the right,
well she put up one hell of a fight,
But by the time she fell behind
she realized she'd been color blind
to the blue under those Northern Lights.

from Keya:

This passenger on the Straight Talk Express
ain't afraid to politically digress.
Appearances on comedy shows,
attacks on those A-holes
who pal with Ayers and the liberal press.

Thanks to everyone visiting the site and helping to write our final limerickal argument.

You rushed the story to the media elite,
under the specter of certain defeat,
pretending not to see
in the backwards B
the flag of surrender, the white sheet.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Dennis:

A wonderful girl is Sarah,
a regular Scarlett O'Hara.
Her attitude's strong,
her issues all wrong,
you betcha she's bad for this era.

from Joel:

It appears that your campaign is cursed.
First female veep? You san't be first.
But for guys with low education
out in Lowry's Red State nation
you'll always provide sweet starbursts.

from Speck Backfire:

So Palin has bought a new wardrobe of clothing
with campaign money for the electorate's beholding,
but fashionable Neiman Marcus
won’t save the party’s carcass
if Republican policies are still the object of loathing.

Thanks to everyone who's supporting the American Center and submitting limericks. With only eight days left, we're issuing an open call for Election Day, and Post-Election Day, limericks.

Sarah, can you clarify what you meant
by elitist, terrorist, vice president?
Can you clear your lungs
to speak in the tongues
of your enemies: the godless and intelligent?

Voices from Main Street: Meet Me In Saint Louis

from Anna:

The line between politics and celebrity's so slight
Palin will drop the Blues' puck Friday night.
Now the difference between
a pit bull and a beauty queen
is the sound of high heels on thin ice.

Josephine Six Pack is adored
though her folksy image is Dior'd.
This wolf in sheep's clothes
reaps the fabric she sows--
a fashion that no one can afford.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Ryan:

You don’t dare ask for whom the bell’s tollin’
just because you don’t like how you’re pollin’.
You just fire up your base
by alluding to race
(Let’s just hope there’s no call to “cleanse” Colin).

from Hugh:

Think Jacqueline O from State Fifty.
I say things like “Goshdarn” and “Nifty.”
I got covered in bugs
from my polar bear rugs.
That’s how come I'm always so shifty.

from Anna:

Say only Southern men can win the South?
then mavericks you know nothin' about.
You just switch-up your syntax
to woo those Joe-Six-Packs,
while the elite put their feet in their mouths.

Thanks again to Main Street for spreading the limerickal wealth.

Traveling with John is a bore.
He and Cindy eat dinner at four.
They're always complainin'
about my Van Halen,
and six-packs left on the floor.

Sarah made her warrior’s pledge
atop the elder’s mountain ledge.
He anointed this knight
with the oils of the right,
with a sword, and its double edge.

Voices from Main Street: What Rhymes with Palin?

Forget the polls. These limericks have been coming in recently--and the media elite only needs to turn to these rhymes to understand the "politcal climate," or whatever fancy term they use for the temperature on Main Street:

from Tarp Lazer Palin:

O the Liberal Left is a-wailin'
and the common consumer's downscalin'
on his packs of cold Pabst
(for his budget's collapsed)
and for hope he's not looking to Palin.

From Megan:

There once was a wannabee VP
whose faults were plain for the press to see
"If you can't stop complainin'
about the media, Ms. Palin -
on a bridge to nowhere you will be!"

From Mark:

There once was a candidate Palin
whose integrity always was failin'.
Inciting the mob,
and bad at her job,
the McCain campaign is now flailing!

from Frank:

There was a young woman named Palin
who on Democrats went to railin’.
When she opened her mouth
her logic went south.
Now she must get a grade of failin’.

from Chris B:

When they trotted out old Sarah Palin
all those hordes started gnashin' and wailin'
"Had enough of Hussein!"
and "Don't know about Spain!"
Come November let's hope they'll be failin'!

From Christen:

There once was a woman named Palin
Who had ludicrous ideas for the bailin'-
out of a nation whose wealth
was disappearing as stealth,
as the Republican party is flailing.

When Alec mistook your name,
my laughter was laced with shame.
From snarky comedians
to desperate republicans,
you're the pawn in a cynical game.

Voices from Main Street:

from The Rumplemiss:

The shouts of the flock she condones,
while presiding atop her throne,
sowing the conflict of class
from a house of glass,
while the congregation throws the stones.

from Lightning:

There once was a beauty queen mayor
who unblinkingly took McCain's dare.
She entered the race
crying "God bless the base!"
but America needs more than a prayer.

Thanks to our contributors and readers. The efforts of hardworking Main Street limerick writers cannot be stopped by any idle threats from rogue nations.

Voices from Main Street:

from Tarp Lazer Palin:

Who's this poseur, Barack? This Obama?
Could my slander create some new drama?
With a blink and a wink
I'll convince them to think
He's as foreign as emus or llama.

from Ryan:

Pastors sometimes say things that don't please us.
"Elites" find them and use them to tease us.
But on this they're off base
'Cos I can sure make the case
That it's good that some Jews are for Jesus!

Thanks to all our contributors and readers. We hope Main Street is sunny, beautiful and full of freedom this weekend.