They howl that Obama's not decent,
and froth against Arab sentiment.
That coy little winker
has them hook, line and sinker.
Their design: far from intelligent.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Anna:

Oh Governor Palin, tell me where and when
did you get that American flag lapel pin?
Does third-wave feminism mean
that you must glitter to be seen?
Or do your rhinestones help you rise above the din?

From Tarp Lazer Palin:

So the truth it stretches and bends
round the vows that my Sarah pretends…
But for less or for more
there's good land off the shore
we'd be happy to sell ya, My Friends.

from Ryan:

Witch hunters can give you their blessin's,
and Steve Schmidt can try teachin' ya lessons,
but if to no avail
your campaign still fails,
the option's still there for secession!

from Anna:

The bigots and zealots are bustlin'
the mobs say Obama's a "muslin"
the shell has been cracked
our nation be sacked
by a Palin barbarian invasion.

from Speck Backfire:

Now it’s true that Republicans aren’t always verbally dexterous,
they sometimes contract old priests to guard leaders from hexes,
but if you think her credentials
not quite vice-presidential,
don’t ask and don’t tell — for that would be sexist.

Thanks to our contributors (and two Annas) and to everyone who's been sending in limericks. There's a crowd of decent Americans gathering in Main Street--and we'll be hearing much more from them this week.

Aerial hunting is not so radical.
Cavemen flew around on terradactyls
hunting their prey
as we do today
with spears for automatic rifles.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Charlie:

Palin was picked by McCain
to revive a lackluster campaign.
No need to be fretting,
the hell with the vetting!
She'll play to my base: the insane.

from Michele:

Between trackin' and huntin' and shootin'
and saving our bacon from Putin
where did you find time
to dabble in crime
and sabotage officer Wooten?

from Ian:

I can't believe what I read in the news!
Of course, there's just no way it is true –
you've no reason to be afraid:
Palin knows more than Roe v Wade:
I hear she wrote the landmark Shotgun v Moose.

from Cabob:

Her smile shines just like the sun's rays.
For McCain she's got nothing but praise.
But if she gets elected,
we'll all be affected,
as she legislates the End of Days.

from Robyn:

So speaketh the pageant finalist:
"Investigate this dometic terrorist!"
Sarah's nostrils may flare
but who really cares
we need her to be a better economist.

from Don:

Sarah Palin was booed on the rink
as her poll numbers went down the sink.
But there on the ice
she tried to make nice
as she cowered with child and a wink.

America is raising it limerickal voice in overwhelming numbers! Thanks to everyone who has submitted their thoughts--we'll be hearing much more from Main Street in the coming days.

As she tans in the governor's quarters,
she twitches when Putin gives orders.
Be careful, brave patriot.
Right and wrong are split
by a narrow maritime border.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Sarabeth:

That comely lass from Wasilla

is no intellectual gorilla.

In moments of stress

(speaking to the press)

her stream of unconsciousness is a killa.

from Stuart:

Pity poor Sarah Palin

her attacks on Obama are failin.

She brought up Bill Ayers

but nobody really cares

and her husband Todd they'll be jailin

from C. Lament More:

Palin is worried about Putin.
When she isn't evolution refutin'.
With McCain as her guide
she will stall, and then glide
and crash land. I guess that's straight shootin'

Thanks for your perspective from outside the Beltway. Main Street cannot be silenced.

You can't start a fire without a spark.
Treason makes the crowds begin to bark.
She throws them some kindling,
good ol' tax and spending,
dazzling earrings that dangle from her earmarks.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

From Anna:

For the children of Wasilla Main Street
God bless 'em, you must have a shame streak:
for someone must be wary
of books in the library
in case they make departures from plain-speak.

from Carter:

There one was a V.P. on an odyssey
Who knew so little foreign policy
She confused Iraq for Iran
And thought she’d try for a tan
Hunting pirates in helicopters with Somalis.

from Ryan:

Turn me loose without more of a fuss,
Let me drive that darned Straight Talkin’ bus!
So I put off most women,
And our prospects are dimmin’,
At least ‘all ur base belong 2 us.’”

Thanks to all the hard-working Americans who have sent in limericks. Main Street will continue to be heard.

Sarah, ever since your debate with Biden,
everyone wonders where you've been hidin'.
A cave in Waziristan?
Palling around with Taliban
to prove Obama Hussein knew Bin Laden?

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Ryan:

As debates go, it was quite a flat one,
each answer most likely a pat one.
Though a night with no drama
is a win for Obama
the same can’t be said for Mc “That One.”

Gotcha questions they just won’t abate,
and the media’s startin’ to hate
how they dare not approach,
for fear of reproach,
by the trooper she’s placed at the gate.

from Keya:

Against the sartorial splendor of Sarah Palin,
tangerine pantsuits pale in comparison;
with the wink of an eye
and a beehive piled high,
that beauty queen's been groomed for debatin'.

from Lee Lee:

I could give the liberal media a smack
for all of their debate guff and flack.
If it were up to me
the only person who would see
my great debate style would be Joe Six Pack.

Thanks to all who have submitted limericks. Main Street will continue to be heard.

The Presidential Debates are boring.
On the bus, the First Dude is snoring.
In the rear of the rig,
Sarah whispers to Trig,
I'll be back in the news in the morning.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

from Joe Six-Pack for Obama:

With lefts and rights Palin jabs
Obama/Biden she hopes to nab
Her handlers tells her all facts are true
But her Johnny researches precious few
Next up, the fear mongering gab.

from Speck Backfire:

Believe it, though it seems barely possible:
The next VP could be the last mayor of Wasilla.
You might think it's a joke,
But if old McCain croaks,
She could end up the most powerful boss of all.

From Lizzwill:

That woman gov played by Fey
Gets scarier every day
So lets work for Barack
to give Grampy a shock
and make winky pitbull go 'way.

Thanks to all the ordinary Americans who have been sending limericks. We'll be hearing the voices of other Washington outsiders soon.

When deciding to run with an Alaskan,
there's a few things you should be askin':
Will she put country first?
Can she properly rehearse
to lead us to victory in Michigan?

Fate tends to spin on ugly wheels:
the governor's mouth gets diarrheal.
When she calls for aid
the doctor's dismayed:
Sarah choked on her Achilles heel.

Voices from Main Street:

Limericks unfiltered by the media elite:

Cheney and Palin had tea,
he prepped her on world history.
They also discussed
who would, should or must
be the all-time worst VP.

Sarah Palin's CV will provide
proof that she is qualified.
You don't see McCain
shooting wolves from a plane:
we'd be in good shape if he died.

Thanks to the Washington outsiders who submitted their thoughts.

If Biden's emotions cause you to panic,
just re-apply your tactical lipstick.
Remember the mantra
your handlers taught'cha:
maverick, maverick, maverick.

Sarah, you make me feel nonsensical
when I swim through your media spectacle.
When you reach out your hand
to pull me to land,
your lipstick makes me feel evangelical.

Enough of the journalism of gotcha:
inflation umbrellas, Troopergate, Russia.
Interviews won't be needed,
terrorists will be defeated
by two simple words: you betcha.